


A Child’s Wonder

by Charlie9646



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AU, But not dark either, Canon death of the Potters, Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Christmas, Drinking, F/M, Mental Health Issues, New York City, PTSD, Severus is Harry’s father, not fluffy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-27
Updated: 2019-11-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:13:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21577369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Charlie9646/pseuds/Charlie9646
Summary: The day that Lily Evans told Severus Snape that James was going to raise Harry with her- as his own- it was like a weight lifted off his shoulders. He might not like Potter, he downright hated him, but he knew the man would at least try to be a good father.Life isn’t always what you planned it to be. Sometimes history does repeat itself, but we also must try to do better.
Relationships: Eileen Prince/Tobias Snape, Former Lily Evans/Severus Snape, James Potter/Lily Evans
Comments: 8
Kudos: 53
Collections: Twistmas 2019 - A Dark Remix Xmas Fest





	A Child’s Wonder

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [Twistmas2019](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Twistmas2019) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
> 
> A child's wonder
> 
> Betaed by dyslexic_penquin thank you for your support and help with this. You help me make this into something I can be proud of, and maybe one day return to this odd little story with another one shot or two.

  
“Happy Christmas,” said the shopkeeper to Severus.

He hissed, “Good day.”

The older shopkeeper said, “You’re one of those, aren’t you? Those Jews who think their holidays are more important than Christ’s birth?”

Severus grabbed his change from the man’s hand and said, “If your god, even existed, and that is rather unlikely, he was born in spring. Because that’s when taxes were collected in the Jewish world. No, I am not a Jew, and most Christmas traditions are pagan. You are keeping Yule in Yuletide, not Christ in Christmas. And if you haven’t guessed by now with your rocks for brains, I am an atheist. I just don’t like this stupid cheerful holiday for reasons I would rather not get into with an old fool such as yourself.”

He left the dumbstruck as he left the small warm shop and made his way out into the frigid cold of mid-December. There was a time when Severus Tobias Snape loved Christmas, but that time had long since passed.

Severus walked passed a toy store the sign said, “A Child’s Wonder.” The twinkling lights, spinning toys, the singing bears made his already bad mood worse. Lily was dead, Harry was being raised by Petunia, and maybe that was for the best. He wasn’t the type of father a child would dream about, and that’s why he didn’t fight when Lily, his precious Lily, when she told him James was going to raise Harry like he was his own. 

His son shouldn’t have a father like him, he was better off with Petunia and Vernon. They might not like magic, but who could hate a child for something they didn’t choose to be? But, maybe to be on the safe side, he should check in on his son. But he would need a present for such a thing wouldn’t he?

Muggle or wizarding? Muggle was best, Petunia then couldn’t throw it in the trash saying she didn’t want such things in her house. Just like his own father had done so many Christmases ago when his Aunt Mary had gotten him a magical music box.

Severus sighed and stepped into the store, A Child’s Wonder was something for fools, but surely this store would have something he could give to his son. Severus’s own mind went back to a Christmas many years ago, twenty years to be exact. He had been the same age as his son was now when Aunt Mary decided to check up on her sister and nephew.

************************

Severus was five the one and only Christmas his aunt came to visit, but it was also the last time he found true joy in the holiday. Aunt Mary was ten years older than Eileen and was gone before Augustus, their father, truly became abusive. During her childhood their mother, Caroline, had been alive. The Prince family had been like any other family before Carol as she was known died when her daughters we're seven and seventeen. 

Mary regularly checked in on her younger sister until Eileen went off to Hogwarts. But even she couldn't stop the abuse that their father took out on Eileen’s very body. Maybe that was why she married Tobias, at least he couldn't use curses on her that made her feel like her very bones were on fire.

Mary had tried desperately to convince her sister that the muggle man she intended to marry was no good. The thing was though, Princes were like horses you could lead them to something, but you surely couldn't make them do as you said. So, Mary was like a distant orb for most of Severus’s childhood. 

A Christmas card and present here and there. A birthday gift sent by her rather large eagle owl, but the only time Severus actually met the woman was that Christmas. Before he came of age Mary had been killed. He never was able to figure out exactly which side had done it or if the woman had simply taken her own life. Sometimes there were mysteries even magic couldn't understand.

It was a typical joyless Christmas, the day Mary came. When you are as poor as the Snape family, holidays were simply a reminder of all you did not have. Tobias was usually drunk before noon on those days instead of coming home from work drunk as he usually did. 

Severus’s gifts were usually small unless they were things his mother already had from her school days at Hogwarts. 

He remembered it like it was yesterday, a soft, but firm knock at the door, his father shouting like the ape he was, ”Tell them we ain't interested, Elly”. 

Even thinking of his father’s stupid nickname for his mother made Severus want to scream. He passed the typical Christmas presents for children; the brightly packaged toy trucks, race cars, and so on. Things that a typical little boy would love, but something said he should not get anything like that.

Severus hid in his mother’s skirt as she opened the door. Instead of someone selling something or singing it was a woman who looked quite a bit like Eileen herself. Pale skin, black hair and eyes, and rather thin. But her clothes were far nicer. A dress that was evergreen colored, and coat with a real fur collar. She was carrying brightly colored bags. 

Eileen cried out, ”Mary!” She flung her arms around her sister. 

Tobias yelled out, “Who the hell is it, Elly?” 

Eileen pulled away from her sister and said softly, “It’s my sister, Tobias. She is just going to visit for a short time... I haven't seen her in years.”

Mary knelt down in of her nephew and said, ”Hello, Severus, I am your aunt Mary. Your mother’s sister.”

He whispered softly to her, ”Hi.”

She stood and wiped off her hands on her dress. Mary then asked, ”May I come in, Eileen? I am your sister after all.”

Severus said to his mother, ”Mama, please! She's a witch like you and me! I have never met her before.”

Eileen and Severus would both live to regret her answer, ”Yes, you may come in, Mary”.

Mary smiled her cheerful smile, and it shocked the little boy, his mama never smiled. She then handed a bright green gift bag to Severus and said, ”This, little man, is for you. And I hope your Christmas will be a happy one.”

With the eyes bright of a child, Severus smiled up at her and said, ”Thank you, auntie.”

************************

Severus scanned the toys in front of him with his sharp calculating eyes. He took in every detail, this may be the only gift he would ever give his son, surely it had to be the right gift. Even if the child….. never finishes the thought that Harry might learn who his father is. 

Even if Harry did remember him though, unfortunately, once his son entered Hogwarts he would have to do all he could to make his son hate him. It was the only way to keep both of them safe. 

He found it then, the toy that was right for his son. It was simple, but it was also beautiful. The doll was a wizard from the likes of it. It vaguely reminded him of Dumbledore, it's hair was black, midnight black. Its eyes were sharp green. It's robes were forest green. For a second he thought some muggle had seen a painting of Salazar Slytherin, but there was no way that could be the case.

He went to the counter, digging out his muggle money as he did so. Merlin, should he wrap the present? Or stick it in a bag? No, surprising children and paying for something to just tear apart was just plain silly.

The clerk said the cost and Severus handed over the money. He struggled with this action, having grown up so poor. Severus’s mind said hoard money, keep it safe. That he would need it for other things. That the rug might be pulled out from under him and his whole world might crumble under his feet. Leaving him in the gutter with no way to feed himself.

It was a rather foolish thing to think and believe, it was just his anxiety-filled mind talking. He needed to press it down, to remind himself that he had a stable job. Severus might hate being a professor, but the position paid well. It meant he would be able to pay his bills every month, afford rare books, potion ingredients, and nice clothing of high quality that fit well. So unlike his childhood, but spending money even for those things sent his mind reeling. 

Harry deserved to have this toy, to have something from his father, and the cost was a drop in the bucket of what he made. But, growing up poor affected everyone differently. And for Severus, it made him a sullen, quiet, moody, anxious person, with a bad habit of lashing out. Basically, he thought to himself, he was an utter mess. No wonder Lily didn't want to raise their son with him.

Self-hatred wrapped around Severus like a heavy wool cloak, it was choking him every moment of every day. Never actually hurting him, but doing its job to help make him just miserable. 

************************

Severus sat in his sitting room, in what was his former childhood home. Gone were the touches of his father. No more beer bottles, the carpet stains gone, the gun on the mantle vanished into thin air years ago. The old useless TV that only messed with magic gone. It felt now like a wizarding home. 

He was in tune with the wards with a simple thought. He sat in a soft but old armchair. In front of him the crackling fire. A book sat open on Severus’s lap, he read the same paragraph for the fifth time. He was going to wait until Christmas Day to drop off Harry’s present. 

But, Severus just could not settle down. He could not focus. He thought back to the present that Mary had gotten him. A small toy potion’s kit, which his father called a sissy toy. Mary had been quite angry. Nearly every Prince had been a potion’s master. 

She lunged at the larger man, Severus hid in the corner under a blanket whispering to himself that the blanket was magical and it could block out their yelling. It was the stupidest lie he had ever told himself. The most foolish thing he ever believed. But, the same thing that started that fight was the same thing that made him hope a bloody blanket could block out the screams of adults.

A child’s wonder. 

The potion’s kit ended up in the fire that night, and Tobias had the nerve to bust Mary’s lip open with his fist. She had begged her sister to leave with her. To leave the monster that she was married to. Surely if he was willing to do what he did to her, he did the same to his wife and his son, if not worse.

Severus grabbed on to Mary’s skirt and begged her, ”Let me go with you, I don't want wanna stay with him. He’s mean and he hurts Mama. Make Mama leave him, auntie!”

Eileen yanked her son off her sister’s skirt, and she snarled, “Mind your own god damn business, Mary! You think you are so much bloody better than me. You’re so ugly father couldn’t even find you a husband. Always playing with your stupid potions. Always trying to take things from me. 

“Never come back, sister, and stay away from my son as well. And you boy, you stupid little boy, your lucky to have your father. My father was far worse to me than Tobias has ever dreamed of being to you! Now up to your room and I don’t want to see you until morning. And if I hear one peep I am going to tan your hide so bad you will not be able to sit for a week.”

Mary couldn’t protect Severus anymore than she could protect Eileen before him. The door was slammed in her face by Tobias, who gave her a nasty smile. As if to say, I win bitch. 

That night Severus realized his mother was just as bad his father, just in a different way. He never called her mama, again. It was mother for the rest of her life. Eileen thought she was doing what was best for herself and her son. But, as Tobias became more and more violent to both of them, she wondered if she should have left with her sister that day. 

But, Eileen, not unlike her son was good at shoving things down. What happened, happened and there was nothing she could do to change it. Not any of it. Not even what her father had done to her after Mary moved out. 

*********************

Severus stood outside number four Privet Drive. And he hated every single thing about it. It felt so muggle, so fake, so trying to be better than you actually were. Not unlike the muggle children, Petunia included, who made fun of him as a child. This house was both all Severus wished he never would become and all he hoped to be. 

He sighed and shut his eyes. It was now or never, it was eight at night. If he waited any longer his son, would be sleeping, and then he would just have to wait till tomorrow. But, every fiber of his being said he needed to be here tonight. 

That was when he saw it. A large portly man chucked a little boy out by his ear. He was wearing rags, not unlike that which Severus had worn during his own childhood. 

The little boy couldn't be Harry, he was so small. But his hair was black as the night, his skin pale, and he was all long limbs. The boy said, ”But, uncle it's so cold. And I didn't mean to eat some of the roast.”

The man shoved the child back again and said, ”Well this will teach you to listen! Enjoy your Christmas Eve, Harry.”

The little boy huddled on the step, desperately trying to keep warm. He wore no coat, he had nothing but holey socks on his small feet. For a second Severus couldn't move, but then like a jolt of electricity he felt himself quickly make his to the boy, not just a boy, his son! Dumbledore claimed Harry was in good hands! That he was well-taken care of and loved. 

This was not the first, and surely wouldn't be the last, time the man had lied to Severus. Or maybe it's just he never bothered to check on the boy, but the same could be said about Severus himself. And it was his son after all. The headmaster only cared that this boy would grow up to defeat the dark lord. How intact his mind was when he got there mattered little. 

And if he was neglected... Well, then the boy would likely hero-worship those he deemed his saviors. Just as Severus before him had viewed Lucius. 

Once he reached little Harry, he ripped off his cloak and wrapped it around the child, who said, ”Thank you, sir.” And then promptly fell asleep. 

Severus didn't know what he was going to do, how he was going to make ends meet if Dumbledore fired him? Where they would live? Would Harry even ever do what people claimed was laid out for him to do? But at this moment Severus knew he was going to do everything in his power to make sure his son had a better life than he had. 

Severus was not going to let a third generation of Princes be abused by a cruel man. Vernon Dursley was never going to see his son ever again if Severus had anything to say about it. 

*************************

Harry Severus Prince stood looking out the window, it was Christmas Day and he was seventeen now. He was an adult in the wizarding world, though sometimes that didn't feel like the case. He was grateful that his father, his real father, saved him that night. 

While Severus wasn't exactly a kind man, he tried his best. He was more closed off than anything. Always having walls up even to his son. But, the truth was Harry wasn't much better. It had been twelve long years since that Christmas Eve outside of number four Privet Drive, and yet he still had nightmares about his time with his mother’s sister and her family.

He still woke up begging to be let out of the cupboard. Sometimes Harry wondered if he was even capable of being happy or loving anyone. Truly loving them. Maybe something inside of him was just broken. Not unlike what was broken in Severus, his father, Eileen, his grandmother, and all the Princes before them. 

Like most Christmases, his father was working, he had to. Dumbledore had done everything he could from a world away, to make their lives miserable. His ”boy who lived” replacement, Neville Longbottom, was doing a piss poor job at saving the wizarding world. Not that Harry really even cared. 

Harry did not care about Voldemort, though he did not agree with the snake faced bastard, either. He sometimes wondered if he was capable of caring about anything. He did wish his mother was alive though, that she would have married Severus instead of James Potter, and then she would still be around. 

Potter was the fool who had gotten her killed. 

They were in New York City, of all places. Harry looked down from their apartment window at all the lights. Sometimes he wondered if he should just open the window and jump. But, that would cause a spectacle, and that just wouldn't do. The seventeen-year-old cracked open the bottle of fire whiskey and drank straight from the bottle. 

He thought to himself, maybe it would have been better if he had just froze to death that night in the snow. But, then his dad would have found him. That was the same reason he would not jump out the window, the same reason he would not drink himself to death. 

The wound of Lily’s death hung over both men like nothing else. Harry heard the key turn in the lock, and Severus called out, ”Merry Christmas, Harry, I am sorry I ran late at work. I know I promised I would be home early. But, I got dinner and a present for you.”

Harry hid the bottle fire whiskey and went to go sit down with his father. He was no longer a child who believed in happy endings. But his dad needed him, and he needed his dad. They were their own little broken family. However, the wonder of the holiday season had long since gone from both of their eyes. 

For once Harry was honest with his father that night, about the drinking, the pain, the fact that he felt nothing at all most days. As was Severus to his son. That sometimes he snapped at his coworkers for no reason. About snarling at children who had done nothing wrong. That they were both rather broken, and that was okay. 

They did not know where they were going to go from here, but they were going to try and make sure the next generation of Princes were not like the ones before it. And maybe that means that they hadn't truly lost the wonder of a child, because they believed they could. 

  
  
  
  
  


  
  



End file.
